Get your Heart on… FIRE!

Your Essential New Relationship Foundation

Over a 6-week period, we’ll be in a transformational process to uncover and release our old behavior patterns.

This is a crucial component to releasing our old behavior patterns and healing our old wounds.

This process is very much like a dietary cleanse. You may be familiar with juice fasting, liver cleanses, or similar cleanses to rid your body of toxins. However, in this cleanse the “toxins“ are the behavior patterns and challenging beliefs that have kept us stuck in a cycle of un-fulfilling relationships. You may already be aware of some, and others will likely rise to the surface to be released.

This is not a list of how to restrict ourselves for 6 weeks. It’s a list of distractions to remove so that we can better understand what beliefs and patterns have been driving us, as our deepest transformation occurs.

You can go through the list and write down what you are committing to over the next 6 weeks. You can note your answers on a piece of paper.

Ask yourself:
How can I make this the BIGGEST Opportunity for me?
~How important is it for me to Find the One?
~Am I willing to go full out this on for 6 short weeks to have a lifetime of happiness?

LEVEL 1: No Pursuing (even Pursuing Validation/Approval/Attention)
Basic rules of thumb:
Are you looking to impress someone?

No Approaching /Initiating Contact [offline and online]
•   Approaching / pursuing men/women you’re attracted to – at parties, school, work, on the street, social events, classes, etc…ANYWHERE.
•   Facebook flirting (friending/msging/wall-posting/”like”ing)
•   Cruising online dating sites

No Attention on “Success with men/women”
•   Pickup/Seduction/Women’s/Men’s Dating Stuff, Ebooks, DVDs, Audio, MP3s, Newsletters
•   Contemplating on what you could have/should have said to this guy/gal/ that guy/gal

No Impressing/Pulling for attraction/attention
•   Flirting – with ex-boyfriends, coworkers, and waiters/waitresses…anyone.
•   Wearing clothes you think will impress men/women
•   Bragging
•   Cocky/funny
•   Trying to get him/her to laugh
•   Compulsively looking for eye contact from attractive men/women as you walk down the street
•   Positioning yourself near the sexy guy/gal in at the coffee shop hoping to get noticed (or in any social situation)
•   Messaging to Impress (txt/email/fb): Agonizing over the right thing to say, having a need to feel clever, build intrigue, etc…
•   Manicuring your online profile to be attractive to men/women
•   Telling stories hoping he or she will be impressed
•   Saying things that will make him/her think you’re: deep, emotionally sensitive, clever, cool, spiritual, rich, confident, experienced,
sexually experienced

No Posturing
•   Strutting walk
•   Trying to look sexy
•   Attempting “Alpha” body language
•   Saying the same pre-programmed responses
•   Using pre-scripted “lines to try”
•   Acting aloof/self-reliant/cool & detached

No Faking
•   Putting on a fake smile
•   Fake interest/enthusiasm
•   Asking questions you don’t really care about

No Seeking Approval/response
•   Buying drinks, gifts, to make him/her like you
•   Offering compliments about his/her physical beauty
•   Texting immediately/repeatedly
•   Doing things in order to get approval from ANYONE [not just men/women]

Question: Is there anyone else you seek approval from, besides men/women? Boss? Friends? Parents?

Enter them here, and keep a watchful-eye on this tendency for the next 6 weeks:
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NOTES:
•   If a man/woman wants to connect with you, fine—he/she does ALL the work to initiate everything. You can make it clear to them that
you’re not going to be initiating… that it’s on them. But no energy expended on your side to make it happen.

•   A good warning sign is if you find yourself anticipating their response to something you say or do, you’re probably looking to get
validation or a particular outcome from the situation… off limits for these 6 weeks!
LEVEL 2: No Sensual Contact
This is simple, yet can be challenging. Level 1 + the following:

•   No kissing/making out
•   No fooling around (no genital contact)
•   No sexual contact
•   No phone sex, skype sex, cybersex, textsex,
Level 3: No Substitues (No distractions)
Levels 1 & 2 + the following:
- Watching porn
- Masturbation
- Video Games
- Sugary foods
- Food binges
- Alcohol- This includes beverages made of grapes. Otherwise known as wine J
- TV
- Pot
- Other Drugs
- Checking out through Workaholism
- Conspiracy News and Radio
- iPhone Apps
- Obsessively organizing and categorizing your music/media
- Aimless Web surfing (doesn’t mean you don’t use the internet to take care of business; just no browsing)
- Celebrity gossip websites/Magazines
- Casual Instant Messaging
- Tabloid magazines
- Wasting time on Social Media
Other check-out behaviors, specific to YOU:
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Notes:
•   Suggestion: Set your status to INVISIBLE on all instant messaging systems (Gmail, FB, AIM, Yahoo Messenger, Skype). This has saved me countless hours of interruptions and unproductivity.

•   If you enjoy some “down time”, consider limiting usage to a minimum amount of time per day. Ideally, you’re cutting it out all together, and seeing what comes up for you!

•   If you’re taking on Level 3, it’s about getting IN RELATIONSHIP with what’s most deeply true for you. Consider that instead of listening to the radio in the car, consuming more input, turning your attention INWARD to feel your body, notice your thought patterns, and discover what arises in the silence of you being with YOURSELF.

•   If you’re a compulsive news-watcher, or conspiracy theorist, magazine reader, consider unplugging from these as a way of occupying your attention and giving your energy to things that reaffirm who you are becoming.

EXCEPTIONS:

Enter your exceptions below–

For example, I plan to continue Swing Dancing every week. This requires me to ask men/women to dance, and engage in sensual physical contact. So, that’s an exception that I would list here. Exceptions must be identified BEFORE you begin – no adding exceptions DURING the Heart on Fire process. So you may want to pull out your calendar, and check if there are any special situations coming up where your commitments do NOT apply:

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Keep in mind~ This is not a list of how to restrict our selves for 6 weeks. It’s a list of distractions to remove so that we can better understand what beliefs and patterns are driving us. From this place, our deepest transformation can occur.

Final Suggestion: Feel free to edit this document as you like, then print out your final commitments and post it somewhere where you’ll always see it (bedroom mirror, fridge). This will act as a healthy reminder for you.

You can download your own copy by clicking the Heart below

Heart ON Fire